last civilian day

today, is the last day that i am a civilian, and i am feeling v v v conflicted right now, the second-sister-nurtured (my second sister, is, extremely patriotic, and she's a teacher and she taught social studies and they wanted her to be NE head in her school and she made her primary one class paint a 'HAPPY BIRTHDAY SINGAPORE WE LOVE SINGAPORE S-I-N-G-A-P-O-R-E!!' banner last year one month before national day, and she really buys small singapore flags and sticks them round the house when national day is near, accounting for how i insist that emigres are worthless backstabbers (okay, that came out a bit too, actually, very, very intense) and those who complain about singapore's high prices should also, then, complain about the very high standard of living, and also, those who think other countries are better, well, tough luck, you're born here, so make the best out of it instead of going off somewhere else where you have no roots and nothing to cling onto and thus will always remain/feel like a second class citizen in your new 'home' okay back to the topic) part of me is thinking, wow, tomorrow is the army day, which means run eat sleep run eat sleep and ergo nothing to think about which is great, while the other victor-js-various-other-people-from-humans-and-my-general-social-circle-nurtured part of me is feeling tingly and nervous and thinking omugod, my hair.

which, incidentally, has already been cut off, seeing as to how i can literally feel the aircon breeze running through my new, short-cropped GI hair now, which my mother just cut, since we all felt that my old long and sticky hair would probabaly get me blackmarked during the oath taking ceremony tomorrow (actually, later in the day) actually, i think they just want to see me without hair first. the new hair actually goes very, very well with the black specs that i'm wearing now, i totally look like rachel (the one with FRIENDS HAHA THIS IS AN INSIDER JOKE ALL OF YOU ARE THINKING OF THE FAMOUS ONE RIGHT THE BRAD PITT'S EX) without hair, due to the glasses. i am slowly looking more and more like an army boy, which some people find sexy, so there.

since i am the only and first person other than my dad to enlist (unlike jun yuan, who has an elder brother), there is this sense of ritual and specialness in everything i did today, i can't help but think 'woah. last gym session as a civilian.' or 'woah. last dota game as a civilian.' or 'woah. last ben and jerry's as a civilian.' or 'woah. first and last peanut butter with condensed milk toast (which, incidentally, is extremely good) at the place in the cine basement'. even sleeping in an aircon room and typing on a computer is taking on a new significance. maybe i am overdramatising the whole thing, but i Am the most important person in my life, am i not? haha and at least i didn't rush to meet everyone i could possibly meet which is, drama. oh i realise the dramatic 'he's going in tmr!' thing diminishes the later you go in; when tan long went in we were all 'we'll see you off at pasir ris!', when victor went in it was 'YOU'D BETTER CALL EVERY NIGHT (which he still does, that silly old deary cow, and i feel guilty for my phone being on perma-silent mode) OR I WILL HATE YOU I MISS ALL OF YOUUUU (see below)' and now when its my turn dezhi (not that i'm being vindictive) says 'hey i need to go off by three, so let's not swim' -_- HAHA. i bet no one will remember when jun yuan and ivan go in since the novelty's gone, so TOO BAD HAHA.

okay, it's time for one more night in my famously frigid aicon room, until two weeks from now. seeya soon, blog :D

reeeeeech