hatelove

i hate:

booking in, being sick, pining, treated as though i don't exist, being jealous, coughing, being ignored, not going out, raging, futile waiting, not having a life, wishing and hoping for impossible things, my handphone, being generally childish and stupid.

i love:

my family, my section, my room, my bed, some of my friends, booking out, food i don't actually puke out, cold water, cold towels, my handphone.

it is hurting very, very badly, and maybe i am being self-centered and whiny again, but it just sucks to have you miserableness and anticipation exacerbated and ruined by illness, and the horrid thought of waiting another two weeks is just becoming too much for me. but heck, i've waited long enough already for no hope, so what's two more weeks? sometimes i wish i'd never have to see you again, but then i always succumb to temptation.

reeeeeeech