pressure cooker

js's newest post is hilarious, in the familiar bitchy js manner. i miss js, in more ways than one, but i think only victor will fathom what i mean :D

i just had this very long and meaningless conversation with aysuria regarding the failings of men and other lousy creatures, and how women are always being mistreated. fuck, i feel so angry for our female companions now, i am going to succumb to my primal instincts and go punch somebody and start another war. i am now going to negate any sense of discomfort with a HAHA. HAHA. anyways our conversation was, as usual, content-filled, dissectory, albeit clinical and problem solving, but pointless. nothing new said, nothing done, nothing resolved. i guess i am speaking to the wrong person just so i feel like i am doing something productive, for once, but does the right person feel right enough to speak? it's all up to you now. one week?

i guess sometimes it's lucky to be female, especially with all the female solidarity stuff. i mean, nobody rallies behind the weeping man who's been dumped by the Bitch, but everyone musters behind the angry girl who's been hurt by the Jerk. but, i guess it's all in the way things work. i mean, it's just plain ridiculous when this girl i know, effectively dumps her bf then goes into a sobbing spree in the company of her girlfriends, who collectively blame the poor guy for all his failings, for being boring, for not being attractive enough, for not being assertive, for being overbearing, and then go on a shopping-and-chocolate-trip to make everyone feel better, when the guy, who i also know, mopes silently at the void deck tables.

any resemblance to anyone living or dead is purely coincidental.

oh well, i feel stuck in a pool of depressed and complicated people. as jun yuan once said, 'it's always your type of people who have these problems.' maybe he's right. the problem is, how do i convince everyone else to not be 'my type of people'? think less, analyse less, forgive, obsess less, be practical, forget, don't read too much. huh, as if you'd believe it.

ah heck. i'm going to just distract myself now with real blogging.

we went to dezhi's house today to do uni apps, and then we cabbed to paradiz to play dota, after which i met up with ju yuan for dinner, then i went home. what a fun day! tmr we're supposed to gymswim, then hang around till late to mambo at night, seeing as to how nobody's in the mood / physical state to go vermonstering tmr, which kinda sucks. oh bloody hell, i don't really give a flying fuck now. let's get everything over and done with. one half of my problems is flying away now, and the other one promises to be solved in a week, so there. wait, just wait.

i remember the time right after A's all the way till two weeks after prom as the happiest time of my recent life, because i had someone to like, who liked me back (i think), but when everything came apart, it just sucked, right till now it feels awkward. i miss those times. oh i am very, very confused and convoluted. this is going to sound really freaky and weird, but i really missed the night when we caught a movie, then came to my house to watch vcds till the next day, then went to the beach, where we got lost and crazy. and i'm not talking about the one who's flying away. oh god, i am so confused.

reeeeeeeech